Results of My Physical

I had my annual physical this past Friday.  (insert groans here from every guy over 40)  I stood on the medical scale that always seems to add 5-10 lbs, looked away as I was stuck with a syringe for blood work, and listened to the dreaded snap of the latex glove.  Finally, after hearing from my doctor that I appear to be in excellent health, he asked me if there was anything that had been bothering me.

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Most of the time, when I hear that question, I always say, “No, I’m feeling pretty good.”

However, this time I had a different answer.  I sighed heavily and said, “Well, ok, in the last few months, I’ve had a few times when I’ve felt like my food wasn’t going all the way down to my stomach.”

This caught his attention.  I could tell because he stopped writing on his clipboard.

So I continued.

“At first I thought I was just in a hurry and had taken too big of a bite, but there have been times when I was sure that I had chewed my food sufficiently.  Whenever it happened, I usually stood, raised my hands over my head, and the food normally continued to my stomach.”

“Anything else?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied.  “I cough a lot after I eat.”

After a few more questions, my doctor said, “I think we need to examine your esophagus.”

“Okay,” I replied.  “How do we do that?”

“Well, you can either drink barium and we can x-ray you or we can perform an esophagogastroduodenoscopy.”

“Did you just make that up?”

“No,” he laughed.  “It’s an endoscopic procedure where we scope the upper part of the gastrointestinal tract.  Sometimes there’s a narrowing of the esophagus, but this will let us know for sure.”

“Why would I do that other than drink the cyanide?”

“You mean barium?” he asked.

“Yes, sorry.  Hopefully there’s a difference.”

“If you drink the barium and have the x-ray and there’s a problem, then we still have to do the esophagogastroduodenoscopy.”

“Is it dangerous?” I asked.

“No,” he replied.  “I’ve had it myself.”

“Ok,” I said.  “Let’s do it.”

So, I’m scheduled to have an esophagogastroduodenoscopy.  I’ll let you know what happens.  If you’ve had one, let me know.  I’d like to hear your story.

Beirut Baptism

IMG_8011This blog post is from a friend of mine who serves as a missionary in Beirut, Lebanon.  Her name has been changed for her own protection.

Here in Lebanon and in all of the Middle East, your religion is considered as more of a family or genetic characteristic. The mindset is that you are born a Muslim or a Christian. You can’t or shouldn’t change that just as much as you can’t or shouldn’t change your race or your family. This comes from the Koran which states that the son of a Muslim father is a Muslim.
Your religion is a legal matter here…it determines who and where you can marry and where you can own property and do business. It is listed as one of the characteristics on your driver’s license or government ID.
So…when you put baptism in the equation as a sacrament of the church that is a confirmation in most churches that you are indeed a Christian and a public statement that you are a part of the Church-body as a whole and even the local body of believers….it has not just the spiritual ramifications that it has for us in the US but here it has real political, legal and social ramifications. (Interestingly enough, quite like the early church.) The main resistance to conversion when ministering to Muslims here is not saying the sinner’s prayer or confessing Jesus….it is church membership and baptism because this is what would change their life in terms of their family, legal status and social status.
Ruth is a young woman who came to the church about a year and a half ago. She is Jordanian and a year before coming, really escaping, to Lebanon, she accepted Christ through a Christian television program. For a year she lived as secret Christian. About half way through that year, her husband discovered her secret and began to beat her everyday and make her say Muslim prayers. Finally, as she realized her life was in danger, she fled her home for Lebanon. She was forced by her husband to leave behind her 3-year-old son.
Upon arriving in Lebanon, she came to the church seeking refuge. One of the first things she did was remove her headscarf and ask where she could throw it away. The main thing she desired was to know more about the word and to be baptized.  During her year as a secret Christian, she said that she would literally have dreams of being baptized. She said that she read about it in the Word and longed for the day when she could publicly and boldly show her love for the Lord in this way. She knew that for her culture this would be an undeniable way of identifying with Christ and it would be a sign from which she could not turn back.
She was so excited on the day of her baptism…the time had finally come. She shared her story with the congregation and was baptized during the service. Ruth said that it was such a great fulfillment of her dreams from when she first became a Christian and that she felt a new level of boldness in her relationship with Christ and her authority in Christ. She was now known as a Christian publicly with all of the joys and risks that entails as a converted Muslim.
Shortly after being baptized, Ruth was sent to jail as her husband sent word from Jordan that she had converted and was running from him. Through the help of Christians here and favor with the government she has been released. She has now applied for asylum and we believe she is being relocated by the United Nations. She is no longer able to contact us at the church as the procedure is to give her a new identity and passport documents because her life is endangered. (Similar to a witness protection program)

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It is so easy for us in the United States to take baptism for granted. We don’t have the threat of jail, persecution or death. But Ruth’s story is just one of thousands, where Christian converts risk their lives to follow in obedience the command of the Word to be baptized and to identify publicly with the death, burial and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Wind Farms

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Wind farms like these are on the rise around the world and are now used to produce almost 3% of the world’s energy usage.  You may have seen a similar farm in your travels.

Have you ever wondered how these windmills are able to capture the wind’s energy?  Here’s a brief explanation:  A wind turbine blade works like an airplane wing.  Blowing air passes around both sides of the uniquely shaped blade.  The uneven pressure around the blade then causes it to spin.  The blades are attached to a shaft, which turns about 18 revolutions per minute, which doesn’t seem like much at first.  However, the shaft is connected to a series of gears, which increases the movement to about 1800 revolutions per minute.  At that speed, a generator can produce a lot of electricity as long as the wind is consistent.

Recently, when I was thinking about wind farms, tithing came to mind.  This may seem strange so I’ll explain myself.  People often think that they can’t give much money, so why should they even bother tithing.  Like the large shaft that only turns 18 times a minute, they think that their gift is not making much of a difference.  Fortunately, God blesses the offerings given by individuals and allows the church to connect it with the gifts of others, multiplying it in various ways that is then able to produce amazing results.

The secret is faithful and consistent giving.

Start – A Message For The Celebration Church Family

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Leonardo da Vinci once said, I have been impressed with the urgency of doing.  Knowing is not enough; we must apply.  Being willing is not enough, we must do.  His words make a lot of sense.  When the time is right, we must take action.  Doing so is more important than understanding while doing nothing.

With this in mind, how are we supposed to respond to atrocious problems that exist both around the world and across the street?  How do we respond to the thousands of people still living in tent cities in Port au Prince, Haiti in the aftermath of the 2010 earthquake?  What can we do about the problem of modern day slavery and sex trafficking in Asia, Africa, Europe, and North America?  How can we end hunger in the United States?  These problems are daunting and seem impossible.

I’m convinced that the only way to make a difference in this world is by starting.  It’s like the old saying:  How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time. 

In 1989, a group of people saw the need for a new type of church in the New Orleans region.  They felt led by the Lord to be a church that would not only change the lives of its members, but that would impact the city of New Orleans, Southeast Louisiana, and the rest of the world for Jesus Christ.  They weren’t sure how to start, but as a first step, they called a young man named Dennis Watson to be their pastor.  Celebration Church was born.

In 2005, just a few days after finalizing a merger with Crescent City Baptist Church, the members of Celebration Church were faced with the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.  With a loss of at 60% of the congregation, it was tempting for everyone to sit back and lick their wounds.  However, with a hurting city before them, the pastors, staff, and members of Celebration Church worked diligently to connect with other ministries and organizations around the world in order to minister to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the victims of Hurricane Katrina.  Sitting still was not an option.  It was time to start doing something. 

Now, in 2013, through the Accomplish the Vision Campaign, the daunting task of beginning the first Celebration Church Life Transformation Center lies before us.  After much prayer, we believe that our work needs to be stationed in the New Orleans 9th Ward.  We also believe that God wants us to establish a presence in this area by the end of December.  Once again, we are at a crossroads.  Once again, it’s time for us to take a step of faith.  Once again, it’s time for us to start.

Won’t you join us in facing this challenge?  You can do so in three ways:

  1. Pray.  Ask God to give the leaders of our church wisdom in strategizing the development of the Life Transformation Center.  Also, pray that God would financially bless the Accomplish the Vision Campaign.
  2. Serve.  If God is leading you to be a part of our first Life Transformation Center, you are invited to our strategic planning meeting this Saturday morning at 10 AM at the Metairie Campus Club 56 Room.
  3. Give.  Continue to give faithfully to the Accomplish the Vision Campaign.  All money received from the campaign will go to further the work of Jesus through the projects set forth by the Accomplish the Vision Campaign.

John

How Freddy Got Albert To Read

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His name was Albert.  He was 11 years old and lived with his mother in the New Orleans 9th Ward.  Freddy was 22 years old and had been married less than a month when he and his wife moved into a mission center down the street from Albert’s home.  When Freddy first met Albert, their conversation went something like this:

Freddy:  Hey, Albert.  I’m Freddy.

Albert:  Yeah.

Freddy:  Your mom asked me to tutor you in reading.

Albert:  I don’t want your help.

Freddy:  Okay.

Albert:  I’m serious.

Freddy:  All right.  What are we supposed to do with our time then?

Albert:  Not my problem.

Freddy:  Well, is it ok with you if we don’t do tutoring?

Albert:  Yeah.

Freddy:  Good.  Want to hear a story?

Albert:  No.

Freddy:  Great, let me tell you one.  It’s about eating worms.

Albert:  Worms?

Freddy:  Yeah, this boy made a bet that he could eat some worms with some friends, I think.  I can’t remember exactly.  Anyway, he cooked the worms so they wouldn’t taste so bad.

Albert:  How did he cook them?

Freddy:  He may have fried them.  Maybe, I can’t remember.

Albert:  You mean you started telling me a story that you don’t remember.

Freddy:  I guess so.  Sorry about that.  It’s in that book there on the shelf.

Albert:  Go get it.

Freddy got the book from the shelf and together they spent the next few weeks reading How To Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell.  In the first session, Freddy read everything to Albert.  On the second session, Freddy asked Albert to help him read because his voice was tired, but he could still help with the big words.  After four weeks, Albert and Freddy finished the book.  Over the course of the summer, they read three books together.

The True Yet Sad Story of the Great 4th of July Search For McDonald’s Ice Cream

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Over the years, whenever my wife and I want ice cream from McDonald’s, something will inevitably be wrong with the soft serve machine.  Today, the 4th of July (a day when I really wanted ice cream) proved to be no exception:

McDonald’s #1 

Me:  (Walks up to Counter) Happy 4th of July!

McDonald’s Worker #1 – What?

Me:  Happy 4th of July!

McDonald’s Worker #1 – Ok.  Can I take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

McDonald’s Worker #1 – The ice cream machine is being cleaned.

Me:  Will it be a long time?

McDonald’s Worker #1 – Yes, a very long time.

McDonald’s #2

Me:  (Pulls up to drive through speaker with hopeful wife) 

McDonald’s Worker #2  (Over intercom) Can I take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

McDonald’s Worker #2 – “Our ice cream machine ain’t working right now.”

Wife:  You’ve got to be kidding.  Let’s just give up.

Me:  Never.  This is a mission.

McDonald’s #3

Me:  (Pulls up to drive through speaker) How many is this?

Wife:  Three. 

McDonald’s Worker #3 (Over intercom) Take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

McDonald’s Worker #3 – “The soft serve machine is broken.”

Me:  Really?  This is the third McDonald’s we’ve been to in the last fifteen minutes.  Are they all on schedule to be broken today on the 4th of July?

McDonald’s Worker #3 – I don’t know.  That machine breaks down all the time.

McDonald’s #4

Me:  (Pulls up to drive through speaker) How…

Wife:  (Interrupts) Four. 

McDonald’s Worker #4 – Can I take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

(Extremely Long Pause) 

McDonald’s Worker #4 – Is that all?

Me:  Yes.  (withheld jubilation)

McDonald’s Worker #4 – “$2.16.  Pull around.”

Me:  Success.

Wife:  (Rolls her eyes)

(Hallelujah Chorus plays loudly in car)

Born to Run? – Beginning Week #9 of 10k Trainer App

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Christopher McDougall, in Born to Run, observed the following:

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed.  Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up.  It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve.  It doesn’t matter whether you’re the lion or a gazelle – when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”

I wonder the gazelles or the lions trained to run using the 10k trainer app that I’m using.  I doubt it, because they’re running to survive and not for fitness sake.  Today, as I finished up Week #8 in my program, I was supposed to run for 30 minutes or 3 miles plus 10 minutes of warm up and cool down.  I did it, but I thought I was going to pass out.  I keep hearing that there’s a magical moment when runner’s euphoria comes over you.  I’ve felt some satisfaction in the completion of a run, but the only euphoria I’ve felt is when I get to stop.

I’m supposed to start my 9th week of the program this week.  The workout for the first day lasts 54 minutes.  I’m supposed to have a simple 5 minute warmup, run for 10 minutes, walk for 1 minute, then repeat the last two 3 more times before walking for a 5 minute cool down.  I’m not looking forward to this because of two facts about running:  It stinks and I hate it.

I’ll let you know if my feelings change.

Celebration Church in Hispaniola

This is the island of Hispaniola.

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In 1492, Columbus landed here and named it La Isla Espinosa.  The name was later Anglicized to Hispaniola.  The island is made up of the French-speaking nation of Haiti and the Spanish-speaking nation of the Dominican Republic.  For the last two weeks, God has opened the doors for the pastors of Celebration Church to make a huge difference across this entire island.

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Early last week, Pastor Robert Storey and his wife Kathy spent several days in Haiti working with the Convoy of Hope Christian Relief Organization, sharing the good news of Jesus Christ to the people of Port au Prince.  Then, this past week, Pastor Dennis Watson, our lead pastor and Pastor Manley Miller, our Metairie Campus co-pastor, teamed up with the Storeys to train pastors and teach leaders all across the Dominican Republic.  Over these past several days, God has not only used them to lead people to Jesus and minister to the hurting but also to train literally thousands of ministers across that island.  Every time they teach or preach, they receive more invitations to teach and preach.  It could be said that God is literally giving us the island of Hispaniola!

Dominican Republic mission

If you’re a part of Celebration, God is using you to reach Hispaniola?  You may be thinking, “Me?  What did I do?  I’ve never even heard of the place.”  It’s because of your faithful giving that our pastors can teach, preach, and minister on that island.  So, next time you see something about the Dominican Republic or Haiti, you can tell everyone, “Hey! God is using me to make a difference on that island.”

The Day Deacon Bill Performed a Monkey Hysterectomy

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Deacon Bill never passed up a senior adult trip.  On one occasion, everyone had spent a fine day with my wife and I touring Colonial Williamsburg.  On the drive home, they opened their shopping bags to reveal scented candles, purple and red hats, boxes of fudge, and one stuffed monkey.  The monkey whistled loudly each time his motion sensor was activated.  For ten minutes, the ladies hooted with glee as the monkey made whistling passes at them.  Finally, they asked its owner to put the toy away, thinking its dark bag would stop the whistling.  However, the van’s shocks weren’t working too well, and with every bump, the monkey shook and the wolf calling continued.  It soon went from being really funny to extremely annoying.

“Pass me that monkey,” said Deacon Bill as he pulled out his pocketknife.

“Don’t break it,” the owner cried.  “It’s for my granddaughter.”

“I won’t,” he replied as he grabbed the monkey viciously.

A moment later, the whistling ceased.  A hush fell over the van as Deacon Bill closed his pocket knife.

“Did you kill it?” I asked.

“No,” said Deacon bill, holding up the battery for everyone to see, but I did give that monkey a hysterectomy!”

I took a deep breath, expecting negative comments from these prim and proper Virginia ladies.  After a brief pause, the ladies roared with laughter and I sighed with relief.

When we finally pulled back into the church parking lot, Deacon Bill patted my shoulder and said, “Son, in ministry you have to be prepared for anything.”

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Disclaimer:  No stuffed monkeys were harmed in the writing of this blogpost

 

“Man of Steel” Review

We learn in the movie trailer of Man of Steel that the “S” on Superman’s chest is really a symbol meaning “Hope” on the planet Krypton.  That came to mind as Amy Adams spoke at Spike’s Guy’s Choice Awards as Man of Steel won the award for most anticipated movie of the year.  She said, “I hope that the movie lives up to all of the anticipation.” I hoped the same thing as I bought my ticket for the movie yesterday.

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You know the story – As a boy, Clark Kent learns that he has extraordinary powers, was born on another plantet, and was adopted by his earth parents.  As a young man, he travels the world to learn more about his origins and his purpose in life.  He learns to harness his powers and becomes a symbol of “Hope” for everyone on earth.

Man of Steel does a few things really well:

  1. The story is familiar but different enough to keep your attention.
  2. The action scenes were done very well.
  3. Henry Cavill was an excellent choice for the role of Superman.

Here’s where the film is really lacking (in my opinion):

There’s way too much action and not enough story.

Come on!  It’s Superman for crying out loud.  Where was the fun?  Where was the romance (besides the lame kiss and cliché)?  Where was the humor?  For that matter, where was the dialogue?

As Tom Long of the Detroit News states, “Man of Steel packs quite a wallop. A few too many wallops, as it turns out.”

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