5 Words of Advice for Dads Going Through the Pain of Miscarriage


Even though people, especially men, don’t like to talk about it, the loss of an unborn child has an emotional toll on the dad as well as the mom.  Lots of people offer support to the mother and they often receive it well.  However, having experienced this pain myself, I realize that the same is not always true for the father.  Because of that, I’d like to share 5 words of advice for dads going through the pain of miscarriage.

1.  It’s a terrible thing and it’s okay to feel bad about it.  The anxiousness that you feel is normal.  You’ve lost your child and it’s as real as losing any other member of your family.  Acknowledge the loss.  People may encourage you to simply move on.  What they are really saying is that you should act as if it never happened.  In my opinion, that’s terrible advice.  Acknowledge the life that existed in your baby.  If you do, you are helping the healing process for both you and your spouse.

2.  You can’t fix it.  The man in us wants to take charge of anything that seems broken and try to fix it, even if all we have is crazy glue and duct tape.  Fixing things is often how we cope with uncertainty.  But this is not something that you can fix.  Nothing that you can do right now will bring back the child that you and your spouse have lost.

3.  You are not alone, even if it feels like it.  Before my wife Kathy and I went through our miscarriage, I really only knew a few people who had gone through it.  However, as we experienced our loss, the stories started to come out.  I was surprised to realize that as many as 25% of all pregnancies end up in miscarriage.

4.  Take care of the girl.  In other words, understand how your wife deals with grief and allow her to go through it.

Here are some tips in helping with this:

A. Don’t tell her how she should feel.  It will only make her upset with you.

B.  Don’t tell her that everything will be okay.  It won’t be.

C.  Let her know, in whatever way that works best for you, that you are there for her no matter what.

D.  Be willing to talk about it.  Go on walks and be prepared to listen.

E.  Keep in mind that she might emotionally connect sex with the miscarriage, so be sensitive.

F.  Remember the day of the miscarriage, even in small ways.

5.  Finally, pray like you’ve never prayed before.  Unashamedly ask the Lord for guidance and wisdom.  He knows what it’s like to lose a child.


Are You God? The Legacy of Mildred McWhorter


When God called Mildred McWhorter to vocational missions, she said, “Lord, You’re got to be teasing.  I can’t be serious at a funeral.  Much less, for the rest of my life doing mission work.”  However, God used her for 35 years in inner-city Houston, reaching out to people of various ethnicities in a city of 3.5 million.

As a young missionary, she was confronted by a young man with a switch blade who decided that he was going to scare her away from the area.  He wasn’t going to put up with a woman who had come to the area to win them all to Jesus.  So, much to her surprise, he wielded his knife and cut all five buttons off of her blouse.


Remembering the moment, Mildred says, “Man, it didn’t hurt me where he cut the buttons off but my thumb like to killed me because I flattened him!  I hit him right in the nose!”

She knew that she was in the Lord’s will as she watched the young man with the broken nose run away from her, that is after his friends had picked him up off of the ground.

The people of inner-city Houston soon embraced Mildred as she embraced them.  Once, she was holding a small boy in her lap who looked at her and asked, “Are you God?”

Surprised, she answered, “No, I’m not God, but God’s love lives in my heart.”

“No!” answered the little boy.  “You are God!”

Again, Mildred responded, “No, I’m not God, but His Son Jesus lives in my heart.”

The child pointed to her heart and said, “No.  I can see Him right there.”

Of this story, Author Esther Burroughs, in her book Splash the Living Water writes, “Imagine living in the power of the Holy Spirit so clearly that a child feels he can see God in your life.”

Mildred remembers, “I found out that you win people who have nothing, who don’t care for themselves, who’ve thrown their lives away, you win them by caring.”

Click here to see Mildred sharing a testimony about her calling and service – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uj6OaoqiG8

Mildred is now retired, living in her native Georgia, but her legacy lives on.


Over the years of her service, Miss Mac, as she was called, and the volunteers working alongside her were able to establish a strong mission presence in inner-city Houston with mission centers in three locations.  In 2007, Mildred was in attendance for the opening of the Mildred McWhorter Missionary building on the site of one of the mission centers.  This missionary building serves as the administrative headquarters for the mission centers and houses 36 volunteer missionaries and staff.

Click the link to read an article about Mildred’s work in Houston:  http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=861&dat=19920404&id=vcNHAAAAIBAJ&sjid=oH8MAAAAIBAJ&pg=1220,4994473

God, thank You for Mildred McWhorter’s shining example of missionary service.  May we all be found as faithful as she.

Review of Les Miserables Movie


I recently had the opportunity to watch the recent movie adaptation of the musical version of Victor Hugo’s classic novel Les Miserables.  I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition of what has been called the longest running musical in history, even though there were a few disappointments.

But first, here’s a short synopsis:

Les Miserables tells a story of broken dreams, unfulfilled love, lifelong resentment, ongoing sacrifice, unrivaled patriotism, and finally redemption set with the interesting backdrop of 19th-century France.  In the story, Jean Valjean, former convict (arrested for stealing a loaf of bread) and parole violator, is hunted for decades by the unrelenting Inspector Javert.  During the time of his parole violation, Valjean takes on a new identity and becomes a successful businessman and politician.  Later, Valjean agrees to care for the terminated factory worker turned prostitute Fantine’s young daughter, Cosette.  Meanwhile, another man has been mistakenly identified as Valjean.  The real Jean Valjean appears in court and reveals the truth about his identity, giving up both his life and position in society.  Even after his confession, Valjean escapes from custody and retrieves Cosette from the evil Thenardiers.  Eight years are spent in hiding for Valjean and Cosette.  Then, Valjean is nearly recaptured because of being spotted by the Thenardiers and Cosette falls in love with the young Marius, who is loved desperately by Eponine, the daughter of the Thenardiers.  The story deepens as all of the characters interact in passionate and even violent ways.

Click here to see the official trailer:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHHHUk8RCw

One brave experiment done in this interpretation of Victor Hugo’s epic tale is that every take was filmed with live singing.  This may be criticized by some, but it actually helps the film seem more real to the viewer.  Eddie Redmayne, who plays Marius, explains:


“Normally if you were making an old-school movie musical, as a group of actors, we’d go into a studio and we’d record an album and then two months later we’d arrive on set.  They would play the playback and we would mime alongside it.  The problem with that is that you have to make all of your acting choices three months before you’ve even met the actor that you’re working with.  By recording it live, Tom (the director) is allowing us the spontaneity of normal film acting.” 

To see the full clip with interviews with Anne Hathaway, Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, Eddie Redmayne, and others, click here – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-uw5TehnZA

When the recording was done, the actors used an earpiece which allowed them to hear accompaniment from a live pianist.  This meant that they weren’t confined to the tempo of a studio track, allowing them even more freedom.  Then, later, the piano music was replaced by an orchestral accompaniment following the actor’s voice for the tempo.  To me, the success of this was best seen by Samantha Barks, who portrayed Eponine, singing On My Own and with Anne Hathaway, who protrayed Fantine, singing I Dreamed A Dream.  The (good) acting made all of the difference.


One of my favorite scenes in the production was the comic relief piece Master of the House made complete by the performances of Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baren Cohen as the Thenardiers.  Even though I’m not a big fan of Sacha Baren Cohen because of his portrayal of Borat demeaning the entire country of Kazakhstan (where I spent a year of my life), I must admit that I was able to forget his true identity during this presentation and I truly enjoyed his performance, especially alongside the talented Helena Bonham Carter.


The entire movie production of Les Miserables, in my opinion, was very well done.  I enjoyed the improvement of the acting that is not often seen in many musicals as well as the musical interpretations of the songs presented.  Even though Russell Crowe’s vocal performance was somewhat lacking, I was very impressed by the performances of Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman, Eddie Redmayne, Samantha Barks, and to a lesser extent, Amanda Seyfried.  There were a few odd moments during the musical, such as the constant foreshadowing of Javert’s suicide and the unfounded cause of Jean Valjean’s death.  All in all, I wish I would have cared more about the characters, however, I cared enough about them to enjoy this production immensely.

My favorite thing about Bill Clinton


I first met Bill Clinton when I was a freshman at Foreman High School in Arkansas.  Mr. Traywick, our Civics teacher, took the entire class to the Arkansas State Capitol Building where we observed legislative government in action and had the opportunity to meet with Governor Bill Clinton.  Even at that age, I remember how pleasant and personal that he was.  He took time to greet each of us and even complimented one of my friends on his shirt.  At the time, none of us knew that he would one day be the 42nd President of the United States.

I also had no idea that he had gone to college at Georgetown in Washington DC.  I recently read a great account of his time there.

According to President Clinton’s autobiography, My Life, there was one time while he was in college when he was desperate for money because of his stepfather’s illness.  At just the right time, he was offered his choice of a part-time job for $3500 or a full-time job for $5000.  Always a quick thinker, this charmer from Arkansas smiled and asked, “Can I have two part-time jobs?”

I never voted for Bill Clinton, neither for Governor nor President.  However, I can’t help but admire the man who is so extremely personable.




Every now and then, God allows me the opportunity to be completely surrounded by His creation.  In these moments, He renews me, reminds me of who He is, who I am, and how much He loves me.


In these moments, the distractions and worries of this life fade away and His presence is all that I feel.

And then there’s today.


Okay, I know I’m only one person so the panic can’t really be widespread, but that overwhelming sensation did come over me and try to frighten me into submission.

Jesus covering

That’s when Jesus reminds me that He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.


And once again, in the midst of the chaos, He renews me once again.



It was January 1, 2000.  Everyone that I knew was sighing with relief that the computer systems of the world didn’t shut down the previous midnight.  The biggest problem facing everyone was how to consume the stacks of canned food that had been stockpiled by many for the possible cyber disaster.

I was enjoying the morning with my feet up, watching television, drinking a cold Coke and eating microwave popcorn.

Suddenly, around 11 AM, the electricity went off.

“I don’t believe it!” I said to my wife.  “It happened.”

I stepped outside and waved to my neighbors, who were also scratching their heads.  Apparently, the entire neighborhood was out.

“Did it happen?” asked Bob, my neighbor from across the street.

“I’m not sure,” I replied, “But I’m going to find out.”

I jumped into my car and drove around the neighborhood.  The entire community was out of power.  People seemed on high alert, frightened because they weren’t prepared for this disaster.  I passed grocery stores, gas stations, and restaurants.  Everywhere, the power was out and people seemed confused.

Thinking that I should preserve all of the gasoline that I should, I drove home.

“What did you see, Honey?” my wife asked me as I entered the house.

“Well, I guess it happened.  The power is out everywhere.  People seem to be upset.  How’s our grocery situation?”

“We’re okay, I guess,” she replied, “At least for a few days.”

“We might need to walk over to the store to see if we can buy more.”

“They won’t be open if the power’s out, will they?”

“Oh yeah,” I said, scratching my head.

Then, suddenly, the electricity came back on.  That evening, the news reported that a large truck had crashed into the power plant, disrupting service to most of the city for a short time.

It’s easy to laugh at what happened now, but at the time, it was extremely unnerving.  It made me realize how very close many of us are to disaster at any moment of our lives.  It could be physical, financial, emotional, whatever…  It could hit us at any minute.

How can we be prepared for these uncertainties?  I’m convinced that we can try our best, but we are never completely safe on our own.  We have no choice but to rely on the Lord for our only true source of security.

Happy New Year.