Eight Reasons Why You Should Never Ask A Woman If She Is Pregnant

Ok, just in case you don’t know this already, never, never, never, never, ever ask a woman if she is pregnant.

  1. If she isn’t pregnant, it tells her that you think she appears to be in that condition, which simply translated means that YOU THINK SHE IS FAT.
  2. If she is pregnant, she may not be ready to make it public yet.  The moment of her revealing her condition is her choice, not yours.    
  3. She may be pregnant, but in the very early stages of pregnancy.  Your asking translates to her that YOU THINK SHE IS FAT.
  4. She may be pregnant but be sick of talking about it.  Everything in her life is changing, not to mention the changes that her body is going through.  She may need a mental break from discussing her condition.
  5. She may be struggling with infertility and taking meds that cause bloating or swelling of the ovaries.  Your asking reminds her of the problem and confirms to her that the world is aware of the physical side effects.  In other words, YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE THINKS SHE IS FAT.
  6. She may simply be overweight, which makes your comment extremely insulting because YOU THINK SHE IS FAT.
  7. She may have just miscarried, which makes your comment extremely insensitive.
  8. It’s none of your business

Basic rule to follow – If she brings it up, talk about it all you like.  If she doesn’t bring it up, don’t mention it.  Save her the embarrassment and yourself the possible black eye (should the moment be incredibly wrong).

Stories

I’ve heard it said that truth is stranger than fiction, but I was never certain as to whether or not I could really believe it.  Truth and Fiction are so similar that it’s sometimes hard to distinguish between them.  Many times, in either classification, people are simply telling stories.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like stories.  I always have.  There’s something about the ebb and flow of the introduction of characters, the unfolding of the setting, the emergence of conflict, the buildup of relational tension, and the joy of resolution that grips me down deep.

Stories teach.  Stories heal.  Stories whisk us away to other lands and somehow through the mental break and moral lessons they provide, we emerge from them as better people.  Stories impact our lives and change us.

When I was eight years old, a preacher came to my house and shared with me, once again, the greatest story ever told.  Knowing that it was only a story, I repeated his prayer and two weeks later I was baptized on a Sunday night.

Suddenly, my story changed, at least in theory.  For you see, to the world I was a Christian, living a life dedicated to my Lord Jesus and striving to be free and separated from sin.  The truth however, is that even though I was a card-carrying member of a church, that I was living a lie.  I was telling a story.  I thought that the Bible stories that I heard at church and at home were simply stories, no different than the stories of Curious George, Spiderman, Santa Claus, and the Engine That Could.  I loved all of these stories, but understood that honestly, they were simply moral lessons designed to teach me to be a good boy.

But then, as a teenager, a conflict arose within me.  Suddenly, I was both protagonist and antagonist making major plot decisions in how my life’s story was going to play out.  I realized that I was standing at a major crossroads.  The decisions that I was about to make would not only determine the next chapter of my life, but it would be instrumental in defining my journey’s end.

Honestly, I thought about abandoning stories altogether.  It didn’t matter if it was Truth or Fiction.  Both seemed to be getting stranger by the day.  A whirlwind of stress and confusion caused the tension within me to swell to the point of explosion, when I realized that I was wrestling with an unseen character.

This new character was dynamic and powerful yet peaceful and controlled.  This character had the power to transform my story forever.  This character was the Author Himself.  He stepped into my story and helped me realize that it was His story all along.

That’s when I realized that the stories about Him that I had learned as a child weren’t stories at all.  They were real!

He was real!

At that point, I joined His story as a willing participant, honored to be included as a character in His book forever.

I’ve heard it said that Truth is stranger than Fiction.  I think I agree.  But at least it’s real.

Stepping Down To Be President


Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit.  There are different ministries, but the same Lord.  And there are different activities, but the same God is active in everyone and everything.  A manifestation of the Spirit is given to each person to produce what is beneficial.  1 Corinthians 12:4-7 HCSB

Several times a year, I facilitate a class designed to help people discover and understand their ministry within the local church.  Without fail, someone approaches me after class and says, “I’m glad that I’m taking this class, but I just don’t feel like what I have to offer is really important.  It’s not like I’m one of the pastors or the worship leader.”

Imagine that your body is the Body of Christ.  You have two legs, two arms, two eyes, two ears, one stomach, two lungs, one heart, etc…  What would happen if your liver decided to stop functioning because all of its work was done behind the scenes?  It would stop its detoxification of your body and things would get bad really quick.  What would happen if your ears suddenly decided to stop serving the body?  The other parts of your body would have to overcompensate to make up for the loss.  What if you lost your little toe?  You would suddenly discover how much it helped you maintain your balance.  Every part of the body is important and necessary.

I once heard musician/comedian Mark Lowry tell a story about surrendering to the call God was placing on his life.  He went to his dad and told him that he wasn’t sure that he was hearing God correctly.  Mark wondered if he should seek after a more traditional ministry position within a local church.  His dad smiled and said, “Son, remember this, if God calls you to be a ditch digger, you would be taking a step down to be president.”

If you have a relationship with Jesus, then you are a necessary part of the body of Christ.  Without you, the body of Christ can’t be complete.  Without you, the church can’t fulfill the purposes that God has set before us.

Has Anyone Ever Delighted In You?


He was there on the day you were born.  He smiled at the sight of your mother holding you for the very the first time.  He laughed with excitement when you took your first step.  He held your hand on your first day of school.  He went to every single one of your games, plays, and recitals.  He soothed your brow when you were sick.  He remembers your nervousness on your first date.  He knows your every thought before you even think them.  He understands your quirkiness.  He loves you.  He protects you everyday in ways that you never know anything about.  He rejoices over you.  He stills your anxieties with the quietness of His love.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  He delights in you so much that He shouts for joy!

The Lord your God is among you, a warrior who saves.  He will rejoice over you with gladness.  He will bring you quietness with His love.  He will delight in You with shouts of joy.  Zephaniah 3:17 HCSB

Chance Encounter

 

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it.  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.  How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.  They cannot be numbered!  I can’t count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!  And when I wake up, you are still with me!

Psalm 139:13-18 NLT

I left the college talent show audition with my head down and walked across the crowded conference center.  Not really wanting to see anyone I knew, I found a secluded patio and decided to lay low and nurse my wounds.  I had never done well with rejection, especially when it involved my singing.

Trying to work through my feelings, I sat on one of the benches, leaned my head back, and closed my eyes.  After a couple of minutes, I sighed heavily and opened my eyes.  To my surprise, before me stood a short, white haired, senior adult woman.

“I’m sorry if I startled you,” she said with a British accent, “But I saw you sitting here and I just had to come and speak with you.”

“It’s ok,” I replied.  “How can I help you?”

“Well,” she said, “I saw you and thought that I might be able to help you.”

“Me?” I asked.  “Don’t worry about me.  I’ll be fine.”

“Well, I felt like God wanted me to tell you something.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “But do I know you from somewhere?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Ok.  What is it?”

“You, young man, are unique and loved by God.”

“What?” I asked.

She smiled and repeated, “You are unique and loved by God.  He has very special plans for you.”

“And God told you to tell me this?”

“Yes, He did.”

“Thank you very much.”

She smiled once again, turned slowly, and walked away.  I tried to go back into my pity party, but realized that the words from that woman had encouraged me so that I could no longer feel sorry for myself.

That evening, while sitting with 1,500 other college students, I watched as that same lady was introduced as the main speaker for the evening.  Slowly she walked to the front of the stage, looked slowly across the audience, and said, “I am here tonight to tell you something very important.  You should never forget it.  I believe that God wants me to share it with you.  (pause)  You are unique and loved by God.”

I have long since forgotten the name of the woman, but her words still remain with me.  I think of them whenever I feel discouraged about who I am as a person.  It’s true for me and it’s true for you as well.

 You are unique and loved by God.

You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Post Is About You

You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you.  You’re so vain!  – Carly Simon

What is it with vanity?  Why do people (not you and I, of course) get so impressed with themselves?  I looked back in time and discovered that people have always struggled with vanity.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection in a pool.  Not realizing that it was merely an image, he refused to leave that spot.  He later died in that same position.

In the Bible, Absalom, son of David, declared as the most handsome man in Israel, used to weigh his own hair which he only allowed to be cut once a year.  (Incidentally, his hair weighed 5 lbs)  Absalom was later killed by his enemies while hanging from a tree in which his hair had caught while he quickly fled.

In the 1600’s, Henry VIII was married six times and declared himself head of the church of England.  He is most often remembered as being morbidly obese.  Because of this, his health suffered in later years.  I’m sure that his appearance also put a damper on 17th century speed dating.

In the early 19th centery, Napoleon Bonaparte stated:  I am the successor, not of Louis XVI, but of Charlemagne.  He spent the last years of his life exiled on British Island of St. Helena.  He is reported to have died from stomach cancer, but many believe his actual cause of death was arsenic poisoning.  No wonder that most of his depictions show him with his hand on his stomach.

From Narcissus to Absalom to Imelda Marcos, Wilt Chamberlain, Robert Tilton, and Kanye West, vanity has always caused lots of problems for lots of people.

Why is that?

Victor Hugo explained it best when he wrote, “Stupidity talks, vanity acts.”
Think about it – Stupidity causes people to talk too much about too many things without any proof or real knowledge of the subject they are discussing.  Vanity causes them to go further than just talking.  It is the dead certain belief that one’s own self is more beautiful, more entitled, and more deserving than others.

So, how does one overcome vanity.  It’s not an easy characteristic to conquer.  According to Robert Louis Stevenson, “Vanity dies hard; it some obstinate cases, it outlives the man.”

So what advice does the Bible give about vanity?  Especially those blood-bought, spirit-filled followers of Jesus?

Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.  Romans 12:3-5 NLT

Wow.  Thinking about how we belong to each other really puts everything in perspective, doesn’t it?  We aren’t gifted and blessed for our own benefit, but for the benefit of others.  We must use whatever makes us special to help benefit the entire body of Christ.

So, it’s time for us all to get over it.  We need to use what God has blessed us with to honor Him and to benefit the body of Christ.

Reflections of Isaac

When Hurricane Isaac made his appearance…

 

Some chose to watch…

 

Some chose to wait it out…

 

Some chose to evacuate…

 

Some escaped the flooding…

 

Some didn’t…

 

But when it was all over…

 

Some chose to make a difference in the lives of others…

 

Thank You…

 

 

 

Pictures in Order:

1.  myimages.com

2.  kypost.com

3.  kypost.com

4.  thinkprogress.org

5.  csmonitor.com

6.  nydailynews.com

7.  csmonitor.com

8.  Soraya Acosta

 

 

What To Do When You’re Afraid

Image

Jehoshaphat was afraid, so he resolved to seek the Lord.  So he proclaimed a fast for all Judah, who gathered to seek the Lord.  They even came from all the cities of Judah to seek Him.  2 Chronicles 20:3-4 HCSB

What would you do if you heard that someone was out to get you?  What if someone yelled out that they wanted to physically hurt you?  What if you discovered that it was your neighbors joining forces to attack you?  Would you be afraid?  

When Jehoshaphat, King of Judah, heard the reports that the Moabites, the Ammonites, and the Meunites had come to fight against him, he was afraid.  However, he chose not to run, hide, or to attack them first.  Instead, he chose to seek the Lord.  He declared a fast for the entire nation and residents from every city of Judah joined him in seeking the Lord.       

What should we do when we are afraid?  Should we run away?  Should we hide in our closets?  Should we rush out to face the source of our fear?  Or should we seek the Lord?

When evil comes our way, we should pray.  When we are afraid, we should pray.  When it seems that all is lost, we should pray.

Lord, remind us to seek You when we are afraid.