Month: October 2020

A Change In My Life

I’ve had a change in my life.

I’ve sunk to a new low.

I’ve switched to Vegetarian Hot Dogs. 

I’ve even roasted a meatless weiner over a fire.

Yeah, mind blowing. 

If you’re not familiar with Veggie dogs, just imagine a casing not made from tasty animal intestines but of some type of plant based propaganda filled with soy protein and sadness.

I should explain why I made this change. 

My wife made me do it. 

See a year ago, I had a bad case of gout where I could hardly walk. Since then, my wife and her cronies (better known as doctors) have me eating way less of anything that might contain uric acid (i.e. beef, pork, soda, and stress reducing happy thoughts). At least I have chicken. 

That being said, I was surprised that the vegetarian hot dog stayed on the stick. I don’t know if I expected soybeans to pop out and run for their freedom or what, but it never happened. 

My wife smiled as she watched me roasting my little piece of obedience until I asked her if we had any chili. She said she would check to see if there was vegetarian chili. 

I told her not to bother. That sounds like a crime against humanity.

So anyway, I’ve made a change in my life, hopefully not forever.

Sigh. 

At least the bun had gluten.

*Photo courtesy of Ross Findon and Unsplash

by Categories: UncategorizedTags: , , , Leave a comment

The Blessing

You know that song The Blessing? (The Lord bless you and keep you…)

I hate it. 

Well, maybe not fully hate, but we definitely have a love-hate relationship. 

I love that it’s a blessing we sing to others that’s almost straight from scripture. I love how it pops into my head throughout the day. I love how it speaks to people and how people across the nation are singing it virtually with others over cities. 

But I also hate the song because when I’m singing it in wholeheartedly in worship, surrounded by massive numbers of people, it thrusts me into my deepest wound during the bridge of the song:

“May His favor be upon you for a thousand generations, and your family and your children and their children and their children…”

The song reminds me that my family won’t go on for a thousand generations. It stops with me. And that sucks.

And every time I sing that lyric, the reminder haunts me. 

Every. Single. Time.

In a moment, I’m transported to the day, my worst day, when my fears became reality and my legacy was reduced to the unmentionable.

And that’s frightening.

C.S. Lewis once wrote, “I never knew that grief felt so like fear.” He was right.

But then, in the midst of my mourning, I remember His presence. Even in my weakness, He is there. I recall that in my moment of loss, He was there, bringing comfort to my sorrow and glimpses of joy to my sadness.

And then, as the masses continue singing, I realize that they are part of my legacy along with a thousand other generations and my tears of my heartache mix with those of my rejoicing.

In the moment, I realize that the song has moved on, but He hasn’t. 

He’s still with me.

He’s been with me in my coming and going.

He’s been with me in my weeping and rejoicing.

He has blessed me and kept me.

He has given me peace. 

Amen.

*Image courtesy of Mauro Shared Pictures and Unsplash

by Categories: UncategorizedTags: , , , , Leave a comment

Physical in a Month

I have a physical in a month. 

I don’t know many people who get excited about their physical exam: the questions, the poking, the prodding, the glove… Makes me cough just thinking about it. 

I always seem to go into a physical filled with shame, holding my head down, reliving a dream I had where I’m about to take a college final for which I didn’t study. I stare in disbelief at the first question which commands me to “diagram and discuss the anatomy of a beaver.” I try to remind myself what a beaver looks like. I start writing words furiously on my paper: rodent like, flat tail, big teeth… but then I get curious as to why this question is even on my music history test in the first place. I look around and I’m horrified when I realize that I’m not only in the wrong classroom, but in the wrong building, and at the wrong school. I begin wandering around the unfamiliar campus aimlessly asking people where I am and how I got there.

Yeah, that’s kind of how it is when I go for my physical. 

I sit in the waiting room until my name is called and suddenly, my inner dialogue begins:

“What were you thinking two months ago when you ate that donut? You said you were hungry. You could have eaten that celery stick just as easily, but no, you had to have something with powdered sugar because you were really hungry. And then you decided to have three more because you were having a bad day. Well, you’re about to see what a bad day really is, Mr. Hungry Man. And when you tell your wife about your physical results, celery sprinkled with kale is about all you’re going to see for decades. Do you like the sound of that, you sorry excuse for a little man? I sure you don’t. Oh, I don’t believe this. What is this I see coming down your cheek, a tear? Well you better get used to those, Buddy Boy, because they’re about to flow down your face like Niagara Falls…”

I have a physical in a month. 

I guess it’s time to cram.

*Photo courtesy of Kelly Sikkema and Unsplash

by Categories: UncategorizedTags: , , Leave a comment