The True Yet Sad Story of the Great 4th of July Search For McDonald’s Ice Cream

6502-softserve

Over the years, whenever my wife and I want ice cream from McDonald’s, something will inevitably be wrong with the soft serve machine.  Today, the 4th of July (a day when I really wanted ice cream) proved to be no exception:

McDonald’s #1 

Me:  (Walks up to Counter) Happy 4th of July!

McDonald’s Worker #1 – What?

Me:  Happy 4th of July!

McDonald’s Worker #1 – Ok.  Can I take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

McDonald’s Worker #1 – The ice cream machine is being cleaned.

Me:  Will it be a long time?

McDonald’s Worker #1 – Yes, a very long time.

McDonald’s #2

Me:  (Pulls up to drive through speaker with hopeful wife) 

McDonald’s Worker #2  (Over intercom) Can I take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

McDonald’s Worker #2 – “Our ice cream machine ain’t working right now.”

Wife:  You’ve got to be kidding.  Let’s just give up.

Me:  Never.  This is a mission.

McDonald’s #3

Me:  (Pulls up to drive through speaker) How many is this?

Wife:  Three. 

McDonald’s Worker #3 (Over intercom) Take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

McDonald’s Worker #3 – “The soft serve machine is broken.”

Me:  Really?  This is the third McDonald’s we’ve been to in the last fifteen minutes.  Are they all on schedule to be broken today on the 4th of July?

McDonald’s Worker #3 – I don’t know.  That machine breaks down all the time.

McDonald’s #4

Me:  (Pulls up to drive through speaker) How…

Wife:  (Interrupts) Four. 

McDonald’s Worker #4 – Can I take your order?

Me:  Yes, two ice cream cones please.

(Extremely Long Pause) 

McDonald’s Worker #4 – Is that all?

Me:  Yes.  (withheld jubilation)

McDonald’s Worker #4 – “$2.16.  Pull around.”

Me:  Success.

Wife:  (Rolls her eyes)

(Hallelujah Chorus plays loudly in car)