The Strange Yet Successful Christmas Duet That Almost Wasn’t

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One of the strangest yet most successful Christmas duets ever has to be The Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth by Bing Crosby and David Bowie.  Interestingly enough, it almost didn’t happen.  Crosby was in England on tour in September of 1977 when he was asked to host the Merrie Olde Christmas Special.  Bowie, who was 30 at the time, was asked to sing a duet with Crosby, then 73.  When Bowie learned was told that he was to sing The Little Drummer Boy, he refused, saying that he hated the song.

A few hours before filming, a team of composers spent 75 minutes creating a new melody for Bowie to be sung as a counterpoint to Crosby’s pah-rumpa-pum-pums.  Bowie liked the new version and agreed to sing.  After less than an hour’s rehearsal, the unlikely duet nailed the performance.  The rest is Christmas radio history.

Unfortunately, Bing Crosby died from a heart attack a month after the recording.  The special was aired a month after his death.

Results of my Second Endoscopy

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A few months ago I started having problems swallowing my food.  My doctor scheduled me for an upper endoscopy, which revealed that my esophagus was damaged from acid reflux.  If untreated, the damaged area could possibly become pre-cancerous.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, an upper endoscopy is a procedure used to visually examine your upper digestive system with a tiny camera on the end of a long, flexible tube.

For the past few months, I’ve taken a generic Prevacid and dramatically changed my diet (cutting out fried foods, tomatoes and tomato based products – very acidic, chocolate, and almost all carbonated caffeinated beverages – my biggest vice.)

Today, after waking from my second endoscopy, my doctor informed me that my esophagus is almost completely healed and I can begin weaning myself off of the medicine.  I also have to continue the diet and lose more around my midsection.  Then I can eat whatever I would like, at least in moderation.  Unfortunately, my wife’s definition of moderation can be translated as “absolute zero consumption.”

Thank you all for your concern and prayers.

 

John

How to get rid of the stench of sin

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I was at a gas station filling my tank when I pulled the pump out too fast and gasoline drenched my hands.  I ran into the station restroom and scrubbed my hands in white foamy soap.  But when I rinsed my hands, the smell was still there.  Frustrated, I drove to the hardware store where I learned about a hand cleaner called Goop.  Right there in the store, I rubbed it on my hands and was finally free of the stench.

In many ways, sin is like the smelly gasoline that spilled on my hands.  We don’t mean to get so involved with it, but somehow, we find ourselves soaked with its stench.  We try to cover it up with temporary fixes, but they don’t last.  The only sin cleaner that totally frees us from the stench of our own sin is the cleansing blood of Jesus.

The Psalmist once wrote, Be gracious to me, God, according to Your faithful love; according to Your abundant compassion, blot out my rebellion.  Wash away my guilt, and cleanse me from my sin.  (Psalm 51:1-2 HCSB)  He prayed to the only One who could rid him of the stench of his sin.  You can do the same if you choose.  You’ll be glad that you did.

 

4 Things to Remember When Doing Hospital Visitation

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I’ve been doing hospital visitation on a regular basis for over 20 years.  One thing that I’ve learned is that I’m not very good at it.  Even though I’m a pretty compassionate person, I struggle when trying to minister to those in the hospital.  Something in me clams up and I struggle with my words.

However, Jesus did say I was sick and you visited me, so it’s important to press on with the visit, even when I feel uncomfortable.

I spent most of the last three days with my mother who was hospitalized.  During that time, I pondered my own hospital visitation situation and realized that there are 4 things to remember when doing hospital visitation.

#1  –  Pray.  The Holy Spirit is a much better Comforter than any of us, so pray and let Him do His work.  Thank Him for who He is in front of the people who need to remember it the most.  If for some reason you can’t pray with the hospitalized or their family, pray by yourself for them and for you as you visit them.

#2 – Bring a small gift.  After visiting my mother for the first day, my wife suggested that we bring her the shampoo and conditioner samples from our hotel room.  We weren’t using them anyway and it allowed my mother to wash her hair with real shampoo.  Whether it’s shampoo, facial tissue, a magazine, or a drawn picture from a child, it could make a huge difference in their hospital stay.

#3 – Know when to leave.  Unless you’re family or considered part of the family (sometimes even then), don’t overstay your welcome.  Understand that while you’re trying to bring someone encouragement, you may be wearing them out.  People are in the hospital for a reason and you might be stealing their sleep time. 

#4 -Use discernment when using anointing oil – Some people don’t understand the symbolism.  To some, it just seems like you’re putting grease on their heads.  Your prayers are more important than the oil.

Remembering these 4 things will help me.  Maybe they’ll help you as well.

By the way, my mother’s doing great.

Top Ten Things “To” Give Your Pastor for Pastor Appreciation Month

Breakthrough!

I was blown away by the response to Top Ten What “To Not” Give Your Pastor for Pastor Appreciation Month, that I did extensive research (just kidding) and came up with the following Top Ten Things “To” Give Your Pastor For Pastor Appreciation Month (better known as the month created by Christian bookstores).

Enjoy…

10.  Cash

9.  Amazon Gift Cards – I’m talking about the website, not the South American river, although that would be pretty cool too.

8.  An applause sound effect button installed in the floor near where he’s preaching.  Sometimes, the congregation needs a little help understanding when to applaud during a sermon.  (Warning!!!  Make sure there’s an sensor that turns the sound effects to standby mode during funerals and denominational meetings.)

7.  Restaurant Gift Cards – It doesn’t matter where.  (Although you should probably avoid all restaurants in the vein of Hooters)

6.  A t-shirt with the words Instant Pastor, Just Add Coffee on the front.

5.  Nah, just give him the coffee instead.

4.  Real Time-Off – This means time-off from you too.  If you’re with him, he’s still working, no matter what he says.

3.  Cruise Gift Cards – The best way for a pastor to get real time off from his phone, internet, and generally craziness.  (Although some cruises sponsor their own craziness).

2.  Pew-Sized Whoopee Cushion – This was originally in my “What Not To Give Your Pastor” list, but I had so many pastors (and pastor’s spouses) tell me that they really would like to own this super flatulence noise creator that I decided to put it at #2 on this list, no pun intended.

1.  Cash

P.S.  Most pastors would rather you tithe faithfully than give them gifts.  🙂

Top Ten Things Not To Give Your Pastor on Pastor Appreciation Month

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October is Pastor Appreciation Month.  But sometimes, pastors receive gifts that just don’t make sense.  In honor of Pastor Appreciation Month, here is the Top Ten List of Things Not To Give Your Pastor on Pastor Appreciation Month:

10.  The latest Miley Cyrus album

9.  A life-sized statue of the Abominable Snowman

8.  A gift card from Hooters

7.  A foul-mouthed parrot

6.  An electric nose-hair trimmer

5.  A pew-sized whoopee cushion

4.  A personalized urinal cake with a deacon’s picture emblazed upon it

3.  A membership to the Hair-Loss Club for Men

2.  A book titled How To Preach Better Sermons

1.  A ferret

In A Garden

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It all began in a garden.  It was there, in a garden, when man rejected God’s will and chose his own instead.  It was there, in the garden, when people realized they were naked and hid because of their shame.  God the Father was betrayed by His friend in a garden.  Evil attempted to win right there in a garden.  And from that point on, the world was never the same.

How ironic.

The end all began in a garden.  It was there, in a garden, that God’s Son rejected His own will and chose His Father’s instead.  He was there, in a garden, when He knew He would be stripped naked out in the open because of man’s shame.  God the Son was betrayed by His friend in a garden.  Evil attempted to win right there in a garden.  And from that point on, the world was never the same.

Sticking Fingers Up The Frozen Yogurt Spout

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There’s a new frozen yogurt place in town.  It’s a self-serve operation where you have multiple flavors to choose from.  On a recent visit, I filled my cup with strawberry and blueberry yogurt and then topped it off with fresh strawberries and blueberries.  It was delicious.  I was just about to purchase another cup when a woman walked up to the first machine, stuck her finger up the nozzle so that it was covered in yogurt, licked her finger clean, and then repeated the process for each of the machines.  Needless to say, it put a bad taste in my mouth, even though she was just another customer.

Sometimes, other Christians put a bad taste in our mouths regarding the Lord.  When we finally turn our lives over to Him and experience His life changing salvation, we taste and see that He is good. (Psalm 34:8)  As we continue to grow in Him, we often find ourselves enjoying His presence when suddenly, we are completely distracted by someone, supposedly Christian, who is rude, selfish, condescending, hurtful, arrogant, and obnoxious.  However, we shouldn’t let them interfere with our understanding of the Lord.  He is holy.  He is righteous.  He is faithful.  He is loving.  He is awesome.  He is good.