We Need Each Other

As a young worship leader in college, I started dating a girl who later became my wife.  As she and I grew in our relationship, we discovered that we loved serving the Lord together.  She helped me with church productions and I served on the drama team that she led.  When our relationship became very serious, I grew frightened at the idea of a lifelong commitment, so I broke up with her.  After a few months, I realized that my life was empty without her.  I knew that we had to spend the rest of our lives together.  God meant for us to be together.  We needed each other.

Two years after we were married, we went to serve as missionaries in Central Asia.  We soon found that our personalities clashed with many of the other Americans there.  We felt like we had made a terrible mistake in moving around the world to serve with these people.  However, we were still learning the language and we needed their help to survive.  They needed teachers for their school and they needed help in planting a church.  As difficult as it was for us all, we forced ourselves to get along.  For whatever reason, God had us together for that season.  We needed each other.

A couple of years later, back in the U.S., I found myself working in a small church with an older pastor.  As a young man with lots of energy, I worked hard and tried to implement lots of positive changes to the church’s ministry.  I soon discovered, after falling into bed one night in total exhaustion, that my efforts were pointless.  The pastor and I were not working together.  After some time, we managed to improve our communication and started to involve each other in worship planning, special projects, and ongoing ministry.  It took a long time for me to understand that God had placed both of us in the same church and therefore we could accomplish much more if we worked together.  Even though we were from different generations, we needed each other.

In all of my formal ministry training, no one ever taught me that I needed other people.  My professors taught me about systematic theology, music history, and pragmatic choral procedures, but I never learned that most ministry does not take place on the stage in front of people.  Hence, I never realized, until I was serving in ministry, that it’s mostly about people.  I thought I had to do all the ministry myself.  I thought I had to be a Christian Ministry Superman.  But it’s not about me.  It’s not about you.  It’s about the Lord.  It’s about pleasing Him.  And I’ve come to understand that I can’t do it alone.  Even if I worked twice as long and twice as hard, I would still need help.  There will always be one more service to plan, one more soul to win, one more drummer to be find, one more set to build, one more message to plan, etc…  I will never get it all done by myself.  You will never get it all done by yourself.

We need each other.

Why Pastors Shouldn’t Do Ministry

That’s no typo.  Pastors shouldn’t do the work of the ministry.  Check out my reasoning below:

Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers.  Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ.  Ephesians 4:11-12 NLT

The role of a pastor is to equip THE PEOPLE of the church to do the work of the ministry.  Most of us who participate in this type of work call it MINISTRY, but I’ve heard that a better term for it might be ADMINISTRY.  This would be defined as the necessary administration, coordination, and education that must be completed in order for the people of God to complete the work of the ministry.

By the way, even though it’s not their main function, it’s good for pastors to engage in ministry themselves on a regular basis.  It frees their minds, helping them experience what it’s like for those that they are equipping.  It also affords them an outlet to utilize gifts and talents, which sometimes seems buried under administration.

7 Things Wives Should Never Say to Their Husbands

A few days ago, I posted about 7 Things Husbands Should Never Say To Their Wives. To be fair, I thought it only fair to post the following 7 Things Wives Should Never Say To Their Husbands.

  1. Does this make me look fat?
  2. Are you using your Rogaine?
  3. I’m going to call a repairman.
  4. Do you think she’s pretty?
  5. Get out of the way.  I’ll fix it.
  6. My mother warned me that you’d do that.
  7. You’re wearing that?

Nuff said…

Why Most People Misunderstand Spiritual Gifts

I once attended a worship service where the worship leader finished the worship set, sat down on the floor beside the pulpit, flapped her arms and clucked like a chicken, then rolled off of the stage where she continued to cluck periodically while the pastor was preaching.  Whenever she clucked extremely loud, the pastor would chuckle and say, “Don’t mind her.  It doesn’t bother me.  She’s just practicing her spiritual gift.”

Fortunately, her “spiritual gift” wore off just in time to lead the closing song.

Wow.

I believe that all of the spiritual gifts are valid for today (although I’ve never seen chicken clucking listed), but I do think that most people have a misunderstanding of spiritual gifts.

The Definition of a Spiritual Gift

A spiritual gift is a special ability, given by the Holy Spirit to every believer at conversion by the Holy Spirit, to share His love and strengthen the body of Christ.* 

If you feel like you don’t understand spiritual gifts, you’re not alone.  Apparently, there have been misunderstandings about spiritual gifts as long as there have been spiritual gifts.  The Apostle Paul even wrote:

Now about the gifts of the Spirit,brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. 1 Corinthians 12:1 NIV

Most people tend to think that God gives them spiritual gifts for their own benefit.  God loves us, right?  So, doesn’t it make sense that He would give us spiritual gifts to help us succeed in life?  However, the Bible actually indicates that the opposite is true.

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.  1 Peter 4:10 NLT

My pastor will often have every one read this scripture aloud with him, but will then insert the wrong words at the end, like this:

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to “make a lot of money.”

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to “make yourself look good in front of others.”

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to “get ahead in life.”

People always laugh, but he makes a good point when he does this, especially when he has them read it one last time the correct way:

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 

God wants us to use the gifts He has given us to serve one another, not ourselves.

Many years ago, a man walked up to me and vigorously pumped my arm.  He said, “Bob Smith, Evangelist!”  He then proceeded to tell me all about his ministry, but never once did he try to introduce me to Christ.  What’s wrong with this picture?

God gives us spiritual gifts so that we may serve one another, not so that we could strut around like a peacock, showing off to the rest of the world.

*Definition found in S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees

 

7 Things You Should Never Say To Your Wife

Over my 21 years of marriage, I’ve learned a lot about what husbands should NOT say to their wives.  More importantly, I’ve learned a few of the whys behind those things.  As a disclaimer, I didn’t make all of the mistakes below, only most of them.

  1. Are you going to wear Spanx with that?  Worry about your own muffin top and leave hers alone.
  2. There’s just more of you to love.  Never, ever, say anything that’s going to make her think that you think she is fat, even if she broaches the subject.  She wants you to think that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.
  3. Don’t worry.  Your hair will grow back.  Instead of pointing out a bad haircut, find something that you like about her new doo.
  4. I like it better the way my mom makes it.  Never compare her cooking to your mom’s cooking, even if, well, never mind.
  5. Yes, Honey, I do think she’s pretty.  Even if she asks you, don’t tell her.  She is the only woman that she ever wants you to notice.
  6. Did you forget to shave your legs?  Unless she’s European, she will certainly find this insulting.  She wants you to love every part of her.
  7. I see you’re drinking 1%.  Is that because you think you’re fat?  Because you’re not.  You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.  (Napoleon Dynamite)  Ok, I couldn’t resist.  But seriously, never, ever use the word fat, even in jest, when speaking of your wife.

The Skinny on the Hunger Games

 

Even though I had never heard of the movie or the book, a few months ago, I took my wife to see the movie adaptation of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  A few weeks later, while on a mission trip in Haiti, I overheard a missionary tell a friend that she was completely fascinated by the book.  Then, while at a Christian Writer’s Conference, The Hunger Games was praised by several of the guest lecturers as the ultimate example of contemporary quality fiction.  Finally, after a pastor friend of mine shared with me about his extreme interest in the book, I was intrigued enough to read it for myself.

A Brief Summary of The Hunger Games

16-year-old Katniss lives with her mother and little sister in district twelve of Panem, the remains of futuristic North America.  Years earlier, the twelve districts waged war on the wealthy Capitol and were soundly defeated.  As a reminder of the follies of rebellion, each district is required to send two tributes, one boy and one girl, to participate in the Hunger Games, an annual televised event.  Each year, the setting for this ultimate Survivor type show may change, but there is one constant:  It is an all out fight to the death between all twenty-four tributes.  When her sister Prim is selected by lottery, Katniss volunteers to go in her place.

 

The Violence Issue

Because of the violence within the book (and movie), one might think that Suzanne Collins is glorifying violence. In fact, the opposite is true. Throughout the story, she raises serious questions about our culture’s obsession with violence and death and what that obsession has done to the hearts and minds of our society.A popular movie (VHS Rental) when I was in high school was called Faces of Death. It was released in 1978 and guided viewers through explicit scenes depicting a variety of ways to die.  Even though it was banned in some areas, it was successful enough to produce at least three sequels.

1,000 Ways to Die

It’s not all that different from Spike TV’s 1000 Ways To Die, a contemporary spoof show which shows people making stupid decisions which causes their ultimate demise. Here’s an excerpt from an online review of the show:

Amidst a number of shows which try so hard to be cerebral and generally expose themselves as fraudulent, 1000 Ways to Die is an odd breath of sincerity; sincerely stupid and ridiculous, but refreshing. Each show is a collection of ‘shorts’ wherein someone dies, usually in an unusual way. The acting is atrocious. The special effects are mediocre. The narration is often funny. And each scene concludes with a ‘title’ for that death, which is usually a pun. In my opinion, it’s the funniest bit of the show, and you’ll probably find yourself trying to guess what the death will be ‘called’ before it appears on screen.

What have we become?  What sort of culture uses violence as a form of amusement? Although she uses violence to make her point against our obsession with violence (sort of like naked people boycotting pornography), Collins makes her point when all is said and done.

Click on the link below to watch a brief interview segment of Suzanne Collins discussing violence desensitization:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYlNiKoGM7o –

In the end, The Hunger Games should help us examine how we view violence and death. Is it simply entertainment to us? Have we lost touch with reality by watching Kenny die at the end of every episode of Southpark? I’m not sure. I suppose that one could argue the same about the Bible. It is filled with violence. But those of us who have a relationship with God know that God’s character is not one of violence.  Psalm 11:5 states that The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates those who love violence. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the Lord to hate me.

So, if you’re on the same journey as I in trying to make sense of our culture’s obsession with violence, pray for me and I’ll pray for you.  Oh yes, and may the odds be forever in your favor.

Eight Reasons Why You Should Never Ask A Woman If She Is Pregnant

Ok, just in case you don’t know this already, never, never, never, never, ever ask a woman if she is pregnant.

  1. If she isn’t pregnant, it tells her that you think she appears to be in that condition, which simply translated means that YOU THINK SHE IS FAT.
  2. If she is pregnant, she may not be ready to make it public yet.  The moment of her revealing her condition is her choice, not yours.    
  3. She may be pregnant, but in the very early stages of pregnancy.  Your asking translates to her that YOU THINK SHE IS FAT.
  4. She may be pregnant but be sick of talking about it.  Everything in her life is changing, not to mention the changes that her body is going through.  She may need a mental break from discussing her condition.
  5. She may be struggling with infertility and taking meds that cause bloating or swelling of the ovaries.  Your asking reminds her of the problem and confirms to her that the world is aware of the physical side effects.  In other words, YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE THINKS SHE IS FAT.
  6. She may simply be overweight, which makes your comment extremely insulting because YOU THINK SHE IS FAT.
  7. She may have just miscarried, which makes your comment extremely insensitive.
  8. It’s none of your business

Basic rule to follow – If she brings it up, talk about it all you like.  If she doesn’t bring it up, don’t mention it.  Save her the embarrassment and yourself the possible black eye (should the moment be incredibly wrong).

Stories

I’ve heard it said that truth is stranger than fiction, but I was never certain as to whether or not I could really believe it.  Truth and Fiction are so similar that it’s sometimes hard to distinguish between them.  Many times, in either classification, people are simply telling stories.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like stories.  I always have.  There’s something about the ebb and flow of the introduction of characters, the unfolding of the setting, the emergence of conflict, the buildup of relational tension, and the joy of resolution that grips me down deep.

Stories teach.  Stories heal.  Stories whisk us away to other lands and somehow through the mental break and moral lessons they provide, we emerge from them as better people.  Stories impact our lives and change us.

When I was eight years old, a preacher came to my house and shared with me, once again, the greatest story ever told.  Knowing that it was only a story, I repeated his prayer and two weeks later I was baptized on a Sunday night.

Suddenly, my story changed, at least in theory.  For you see, to the world I was a Christian, living a life dedicated to my Lord Jesus and striving to be free and separated from sin.  The truth however, is that even though I was a card-carrying member of a church, that I was living a lie.  I was telling a story.  I thought that the Bible stories that I heard at church and at home were simply stories, no different than the stories of Curious George, Spiderman, Santa Claus, and the Engine That Could.  I loved all of these stories, but understood that honestly, they were simply moral lessons designed to teach me to be a good boy.

But then, as a teenager, a conflict arose within me.  Suddenly, I was both protagonist and antagonist making major plot decisions in how my life’s story was going to play out.  I realized that I was standing at a major crossroads.  The decisions that I was about to make would not only determine the next chapter of my life, but it would be instrumental in defining my journey’s end.

Honestly, I thought about abandoning stories altogether.  It didn’t matter if it was Truth or Fiction.  Both seemed to be getting stranger by the day.  A whirlwind of stress and confusion caused the tension within me to swell to the point of explosion, when I realized that I was wrestling with an unseen character.

This new character was dynamic and powerful yet peaceful and controlled.  This character had the power to transform my story forever.  This character was the Author Himself.  He stepped into my story and helped me realize that it was His story all along.

That’s when I realized that the stories about Him that I had learned as a child weren’t stories at all.  They were real!

He was real!

At that point, I joined His story as a willing participant, honored to be included as a character in His book forever.

I’ve heard it said that Truth is stranger than Fiction.  I think I agree.  But at least it’s real.

Stepping Down To Be President


Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit.  There are different ministries, but the same Lord.  And there are different activities, but the same God is active in everyone and everything.  A manifestation of the Spirit is given to each person to produce what is beneficial.  1 Corinthians 12:4-7 HCSB

Several times a year, I facilitate a class designed to help people discover and understand their ministry within the local church.  Without fail, someone approaches me after class and says, “I’m glad that I’m taking this class, but I just don’t feel like what I have to offer is really important.  It’s not like I’m one of the pastors or the worship leader.”

Imagine that your body is the Body of Christ.  You have two legs, two arms, two eyes, two ears, one stomach, two lungs, one heart, etc…  What would happen if your liver decided to stop functioning because all of its work was done behind the scenes?  It would stop its detoxification of your body and things would get bad really quick.  What would happen if your ears suddenly decided to stop serving the body?  The other parts of your body would have to overcompensate to make up for the loss.  What if you lost your little toe?  You would suddenly discover how much it helped you maintain your balance.  Every part of the body is important and necessary.

I once heard musician/comedian Mark Lowry tell a story about surrendering to the call God was placing on his life.  He went to his dad and told him that he wasn’t sure that he was hearing God correctly.  Mark wondered if he should seek after a more traditional ministry position within a local church.  His dad smiled and said, “Son, remember this, if God calls you to be a ditch digger, you would be taking a step down to be president.”

If you have a relationship with Jesus, then you are a necessary part of the body of Christ.  Without you, the body of Christ can’t be complete.  Without you, the church can’t fulfill the purposes that God has set before us.

Has Anyone Ever Delighted In You?


He was there on the day you were born.  He smiled at the sight of your mother holding you for the very the first time.  He laughed with excitement when you took your first step.  He held your hand on your first day of school.  He went to every single one of your games, plays, and recitals.  He soothed your brow when you were sick.  He remembers your nervousness on your first date.  He knows your every thought before you even think them.  He understands your quirkiness.  He loves you.  He protects you everyday in ways that you never know anything about.  He rejoices over you.  He stills your anxieties with the quietness of His love.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  He delights in you so much that He shouts for joy!

The Lord your God is among you, a warrior who saves.  He will rejoice over you with gladness.  He will bring you quietness with His love.  He will delight in You with shouts of joy.  Zephaniah 3:17 HCSB