The Fine Art of Exercise Procrastination

I’ve been eating food all of my life. I’m a big fan. Some might even call me a fanatic.

Recently, I’ve written about bougie food grocery stores and the dangers of the demon weed kale. Once, I even wrote about Healthy Eating’s Evil Cousin better known in the underworld as exercise. I’ve been avoiding the topic of exercise because I’ve been avoiding exercise altogether, but as I approach my next birthday, I can’t hide from it any longer (at least I think that’s what my wife said when she told me I had to start exercising). 

Avoiding exercise is one sport where I reign supreme. Move over squats, treadmills and elliptical machines! Mama says we have a new exercise Daddy now and he’s here to stay because I have perfectly mastered the fine art of exercise procrastination. 

My wife tried to tell me that if it’s not in the Olympics then it’s not a real sport. I beg to differ. I’ve traveled all across this world and I’ve seen it practiced everywhere. Entire cultures have been built around it. Take, for example, the entire nation of Spain and its practice of the siesta. If that’s not avoidance of exercise, I don’t know what is unless it’s our practice of fried chicken and waffles in the south, better known as nirvana. 

To help me overcome my exercise procrastination, a “former” friend sent me an article titled Exercise Motivation: How To Overcome Procrastination by Fit Day, a free diet and weight loss journal and app designed to make my life miserable. 

The article suggested I do the following: 

  • Set Achievable Goals (not working out is pretty achievable to me) 
  • Exercise for a Minimum Amount of Time (I can’t get any more minimum than nothing)
  • Choose Enjoyable Forms of Exercise (I considered hammock mastering. It takes a lot of effort to get in a hammock and sometimes even more to get out)
  • Exercise With A Friend (I’m trying to avoid friendship accountability in this area of my life)
  • Reward Yourself for Exercise (How about a large pizza after every workout?)

I suppose if you really want to get motivated and move forward with exercise, this is good article with good advice. However, if you want to be cultured and support the arts, more specifically the fine of exercise procrastination, avoid it at all costs.

*Image courtesy of Giorgio Trovato and Unsplash

*Thanks to the editors of Fit Day whose article really did challenge me. Check it out here.

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