Turning Door Handle at Midnight

It was midnight. 

I normally would have been asleep, but my wife was on a work trip, 

and I was so engrossed in my projects that I had forgotten to go to bed.

Suddenly, I heard scratching at my window.

Then, the door handle began turning…on its own. 

I froze.

“Someone. Is. Trying. To. Come. Inside.”

I watched in silence. I didn’t talk. I didn’t move. I didn’t breathe.

The door handle turned again up and down.

“Hello, Fear.”

I heard mumbled cursing from outside.

“God, please let the deadbolt hold firm.

Then, the intruder began pounding on the door.

“Lord Jesus…”

“Who is it?” I asked.

After a moment, someone answered, “It’s me.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you to let me in,” he answered.

I paused for a moment, then replied, “No… go away.”

“LET ME IN!” he yelled as he pounded the door.

“Hello, Terrified.”

“I’m calling the police!” I cried. “Go away!”

I heard him step back. 

I looked through the peephole and was glad that I didn’t see a gun pointing at me. What I saw was two men, obviously intoxicated, checking the doors of my neighbors.

I called the police. When they finally arrived, they saw nothing and left. 

As if on cue, when the police leave, the bad guys return to my door, demanding to be let in, 

Once again, I called the police. 

Once again, the bad guys leave. 

Second verse, same as the first…the police arrive, search the bushes, shrug their shoulders, and tell me to keep my door locked and to not let anyone inside.

“Oh, ok,” I responded dumbly as if I was going to set out drinks and a charcuterie board for the bad guys.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep at all that night. 

Instead, I sat on the sofa and watched the door handle…

All. Night. Long.

Fortunately, the drunk guys finally left and I was ok, but there’s a bigger issue for me.

Here I am, a holy, Spirit-filled man of God. I’ve surrendered my life to the Lord, dedicated my life to serving Him, I read God’s Word and following the guidance of the Holy Spirit – I allowed myself to fall prey to fear. 

With God on my side, I’ve faced challenges and frightening people time and again, from Post Soviet Central Asia to inner city New Orleans and every in between, and the Lord helped me through each one. 

And yet here I was, frozen in fear, losing sleep, watching the handle of the door.

I was like Elijah, who having just defeated hundreds of prophets of Baal, ran in fear because of the threats of Jezebel. In the midst of fear and self-pity, this is what Elijah experienced:

“And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire but in a still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:11-12 NKJV

Elijah found the Lord in the still, small voice.

God spoke to Elijah through a whisper.

He was able to do so because He was close.

When we are afraid, as I was that night, we should call on the Lord and then remember that He’s already there, right beside us. He will never leave us nor forsake us.

He loves us.

Even in the scary times.

Even when the bad guy is getting closer and the door handle is turning.

*Image courtesy of Henry and Company